The first month (almost)!

It's hard for me to believe Chloe has been in our lives for almost a month now, but at the same time, it seems like she's always been here.  Visions of a full nights sleep seem so far away, but every time she looks at you and makes one of her hundreds of funny faces, I seem to forget that I'm tired altogether.

Tired...that's one way I word I would use to describe the last month.  After delivery I was SUPER emotional--never really got that way during pregnancy, so I guess my hormones made up for it after delivery.  The first week I would cry about everything--cute things Keith said to Chloe (showing her the house, talking baby talk to her, etc), struggling with breastfeeding, my mom leaving--everything.  It slowly got better after the first two weeks, but I have been able to reconfirm the fact that I am, indeed, a "crier."  Almost 4 weeks later, I still cry easily, but it seems to be in direct correlation with my lack of sleep.  Chloe does ok sleeping overall, but the first few weeks were pretty rough.  She wouldn't sleep in her bassinet or her swing, pretty much just while she was held.  This resulted in MANY nights of her sleeping on mom's chest while I was on the couch--not the ideal for sleep.  We have since elevated the head of the bassinet and she sleeps fairly well now (about 3-4 hours at a time, which is all you can ask of a newborn :)  She is a fairly "loud" sleeper-she makes her share of grunts and squeals in her sleep, which took me a few weeks to get used to. I'm either used to them, or so tired I don't notice them anymore, I can't really decide.

Another word I would use to describe the last month would be responsibility.  When you bring a baby home, it is a very happy time.  BUT, it's also a very SCARY time.  I have tons of experience with kids--I've babysat since I was 13 or 14 and grown up surrounded by kids--I love them!  I purposefully volunteer to watch other peoples children I love them so much. Well, it's totally different when it's your own child, and you're with them 24 hours a day.  The day we got home I had quite a few breakdowns (see previous paragraph) as I realized that this little baby was relying on me for EVERYTHING.  Now as she's older and I've learned how to take care of her for the most part, my fears revolve around the fact that I am shaping her future with every interaction that we make.  I constantly ask myself--are we having enough tummy time? am I talking to her enough? does she know how much I love her? and so on and so forth.  It's a BIG responsibility raising a child--I'm sure I will realize this more and more as Chloe grows, but I've been slapped in the face with it quite a few times already in her short month with us.

Joy would be the final word that I would use to describe our last month with Chloe.  She is SUCH a beautiful and fun baby--and I can say this before she has even given us her first smile :)  When we first brought her home, Keith and I would (and still do) just stare at her for hours on end, just admiring her beauty and the sense of peace that surrounded her.  Now we imitate and laugh about all of her funny faces and LOVE the way her eyes light up when she sees your face or hears your voice.  Every sleepless hour spent with her is MORE than worth it, which says a lot because I love my sleep ;)  We also have loved seeing our families interact with Chloe.  Moms, there is nothing that can compare to seeing your baby with their father--it's a beautiful thing.  Second in line, however, is seeing your parents with your child.  Both mine and Keiths parents are so smitten by this little girl it's amazing.  We love seeing them interact and get excited about every new thing she does, knowing that this is the beginning of a great relationship forming.  Chloe is fortunate to have all of her grandparents living, so she will get to take full advantage of that :)  She even got to meet her great grandma Y a few weeks ago, which was very special.

Overall the last month has been chaos and bliss--we have loved having our little girl around, and look forward to the ways that she will continue to change and mold our lives.  We feel so blessed that God sent us such a beautiful princess :)

4 Generations!

Wide awake and ready for a car ride! (which will put her to sleep)

Christmas Dress with her doll

Our beautiful princess!